There are times as a parent when you will make a mistake. A mistake that causes your child pain. A mistake that could have and should have been prevented. And nothing makes you feel worse.
Abby is dealing with her worst diaper rash ever, and most of it is because of my fault. Last night, right after dinner, I noticed Abby squatting down and making a "poopy" sound with her mouth. As I made a remark about her behavior, Kevin told me that he had just said he was going to the bathroom so we chalked up her antics to overhearing the word "bathroom." And although this is not uncommon for her to do, in the back of my mind I thought to myself that I should check her diaper just in case she was trying to communicate to us that she had a poopy diaper. But I ignored my maternal instinct and instead opted to clean up dinner and get all the dishes put away.
After that, we all headed into the living room for some family time. Soon, Abby started getting very fussy. We gave her some Mylicon, as she frequently gets gas after meals. Then I put some Oral Gel on her gums since she's working on a couple more teeth right now just in case they were bothering her. But nothing would sooth her, and still I didn't check her diaper - one of the most basic things to check when a baby is cranky. By this time I was sitting on the couch with the cat on my lap, reading a magazine (Kevin was playing with Abby on the floor), and was basically ignoring my daughter's fussing. Finally, now an hour after dinner, I decided I should do the "sniff test" and I got up off my bum to sniff Abby's diaper. Although the smell was very faint (hence, the reason we didn't notice anything before), I was able to detect a poopy diaper. I whisked Abby over to the diaper changing table and discovered on her little bottom the brightest and largest diaper rash I'd ever seen. I tried as gently as possible to wipe her up as she cried and cried in pain, all the while I felt like a complete jerk and a horrible mom.
Why didn't I check her diaper in the first place? All of my daughter's pain could have been avoided had I just done what I should have done and if I'd followed my instinct. The rest of the evening, Abby continued to be fussy and even woke up several times during the night. We've had lots of air drying time and slathered mega amounts of A&D Zinc Oxide Cream on Abby's bottom, but still the rash persists today (although there is some slight improvement). To complicate matters, she's been having an allergic reaction to something for the last several days (we've narrowed it to either a new hypoallergenic lotion we've been using or a different kind of diaper wipes we used for a few days), resulting in an itchy, splotchy rash on her legs. I'm sure this contributed to her diaper rash appearing so quickly and increased its severity, but, nonetheless, the fact still remains that it could have been altogether avoided if I'd just changed her diaper right away. I feel so guilty and so horrible. I know that as a mom and as a sinner, it is impossible for me to do everything right all the time. But knowing that doesn't make me feel any better to see my daughter suffering because of my own stupidity.
5 comments:
From what you wrote, it seems she would have had a bad diaper rash no matter when you checked her. Getting ointment on it a bit quicker may have helped, but maybe not. And there are a lot worse Mommy mistakes to make than MAYBE contributing to a diaper rash, that Abby won't remember in a few days anyway! No one is perfect, but God is so gracious with us, and I find my children to be so gracious with me, and my mistakes! I think you are doing a great job as a mom...keep it up!
Also, Destin (orginal, not creamy) is my family's diaper rash cream of choice...we have found it to work better than any others we have tried. I hope you can get rid of her rash soon!
All moms go through this. I let my baby cry one night and later realized the breaker had popped and there was no heat in her room. Granted she will never remember this, but I felt AWEFUL.
If the diaper rash is the worst you've ever seen, I imagine it would have appeared no matter what you did. It also could be a yeast infection. It looks just like a diaper rash, but doesn't go away with typical creams. If the rash isn't better and drying up, I'd call your dr. (Home remedy would be to put plain yogurt on her bum -- I've never done it, but I've heard from other that it works for yeast infections and is completely safe).
That happened to us once, too! Luke had a stink-free poopy diaper (which is NOT usually the case) and he doesn't always make those convenient noises to let me know what he just did. I kept thinking maaaaaaybe I smelled a little whiff of something, but when I peeked, I couldn't see anything down the back of his diaper. Turns out, it was way down underneath. He didn't really fuss much, though, and by the time I changed him it had even rubbed and irritated the inside of his poor little thighs. :o(
If it doesn't clear up, you may have to do something like "Aly sun" was suggesting. My Dr. had me put athletes foot medication mixed with diaper rash creme on it. No joke! He said when they get bad, sometimes they get something like a yeast infection with it. (It just looks like a red diaper rash.)
Also, try Pampers sensitive wipes. They're the only ones we've found that don't sting on a tender, rashy tushie.
we have definitely all been there- though that doesn't make it feel any better when its your own little one. my thought as i read your post was that you are actually one great mommy- taking care of all the other areas (ie- her teeth/gums) you thought might have been the issue- good nursing care!!
i agree with michelle about the desitin orig working really well. at least for us!
ha! Oh, poor you. She'll never remember, isnt that great!? :) Coleson is so not rash sensitive, almost two years old and no rash! crazy huh? And this doesnt mean he has never sat in poop for too long ;) hehe. But for a bad mommy moment... he was only a couple of month old and had never been a crier in the car (to this day he has always enjoyed car rides) and this particular drive home from my parents house he was screaming!!!!! the whole 40 minutes. I was getting so irritated and mad at him (mostly in my thoughts). So we get home and I take him out of the carseat and poor guy low and behold there is a pen lodge in his back and his back had a huge indent from where the pen had been hurting him the whole drive :( Previously, I had run threw a drive thru with my cousin and uncle and had left Coleson with my mom, well my cousin had the list of what everyone wanted and had put her pen in the carseat (apparently!)when she was done with it. I didnt always take the carseat out of the car, especially for things like going to my mom's house so I didnt think to check it or anything... oops. I felt terrible :( There are more times...but I'll spare you :)anyhow. so, it happens, when they are big and small and it certainly will not be the last time. Hang in there.
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